The Art of Trash Bagging

I wrote this about a half hour before it was due. A bit crappily done, but amusing all the same.
It’s Friday night. Gilmore Girls is over. You have absolutely nothing to do. You are hit with the revelation: Trash bagging. There is your antidote for a boring Friday night.
Let me explain. In the art that is trash bagging, there is a very prestigious way of going about things. Pay close attention, because there will be a quiz. First, you get your trash bag. Then, simply grab your favorite pair of scissors, butchers knife, or machete and make 3 holes: two for your legs and one for your face. The face hole is most important. In the art of trash bagging, suffocating and dying is not acceptable. All violators of this vital trash bagging law shall pay the death penalty.
Next: Getting into the bag. Oops, silly me! I have forgotten a step! Before getting into the bag, you must change into a pair of shorts. This is crucial in order to achieve the optimum trash bagging experience. There now. Once you have your shorts in place, it is time to execute operation getting into the dang trash bag already. Just as you’d put on your shorts, or your favorite pair of clown trousers, place your legs into the leg holes you created previously. Ignoring the leg holes step can be treacherous. Please remember the step. Once this is finished, place your head in the head hole. Then have a dear friend, sibling, monkey, or a friendly questionable stranger tie the top of the trash bag atop your head. Then have your monkey, sibling, friend or questionable stranger drive you to any hose, but make sure it is a house you know (we here at the Trash Bagging Association of the Universe care about safety too, you know!). Then have your comrade ring the doorbell. As he/she does this, quickly sit down on the porch (back to the door), put your legs together, and look as much like a trash bag as is humanly possible. Once your unsuspecting victim opens the door, looking for carolers or a nice big, body sized package, they will see you and feel the utmost surprise. Now remember,, if this is carried out correctly, you will look like a real trash bag, and the door opener sees you, they will attempt to grab you and take you inside to show the children. This is when you act. Once they make their move, jump up, making your victim wet themselves, and run off to the patiently waiting vehicle, drive away, and don’t forget to look behind you at your prank recipient’s hilarious face.
There now, you have successfully completed your first trash bagging course. Congratulations! Now just remember: it’s all good fun, and what is funnier than a bare legged, running trash bag?